Ana, age 1 1/2

Me to Ana: What does the rain say?

Ana: Quack.

Lincoln, age 3 1/2

L - You can't do it as good as me because I'm the awesomest.

Me - Hey, that's not a very nice thing to say.

L - But, maybe you can be like me.

Lincoln, age 3 1/2

L- Why can't I use your face wash?

Me - Because it's for old ladies with zits and wrinkles.

L - I have wrinkles....on my toes....on the bottom when I take a bath.

Lincoln, age 3 1/2

We were listening to "If you're happy and you know it" and they said "snap your fingers." Lincoln thought they said "slap your pee-ers."

Boys V. Girls

Alexandra: Let's say we had a baby.

Lincoln: And I have a gun.

Lincoln, age 3 1/2

I need some red boots. Like strawberries.