Lincoln, age 4

"If Satan said, 'kill your whole family,' I would say, 'What Satan?'"

Lincoln, age 4

Lincoln said, "One time someone did magic on your belly and now there's a baby inside it! Who was it? Santa?"

Lincoln, age 4

Lincoln's prayer: Please bless my mom that she'll be nice so I won't have to punch her.

Ana, age 2

Me: Is Elmo shy?

Ana (age 2): No, he's red.

Jamie: I'm rich!!

Ana: No, you're Jamie.

Lincoln, age 4

Lincoln: I heard a ghost. I'm going to kick it!

Me: How do you kick a ghost?

Lincoln: Really hard!

Lincoln, age 4

Lincoln found a shrimp in his dinner tonight and said, "Look mom! A seahorse tail!"

Lincoln, age 4

The power went out and Lincoln started to cry and said, "Dad, you watched too much football!"