Year in Review 2017

Lincoln – 11, Ana – 9, Jessa – 6, Wyatt – 4

December

• ·         The flu has hit our house. Wyatt says, "when you can't feel your throat, you know you're going to barf."
•    Wyatt got his own gun for Christmas. He's already talked about shooting the dog and his sister.... #Christmasfail
• ·         Wyatt to a puppy: "Suck on my finger, bro."
• ·         Wyatt is mad at me because I won't let him eat. He's thrown up 3 times today. 

October

• ·         W: why did the table cross the road?

Me: I don't know.
W: to get to the food. Do you get it?
Me: yeah. Totally.
W: *snorts* Ana didn't get it.
Me: weird.

• ·         After church today I was in my room and heard the sounds of AJ and the kids cleaning the house. I SAID, "That was nice to have you do that without me even saying anything." He replied, "it's not your job. It's our job."

• ·         Wyatt: My preschool teacher lives IN her preschool.

Me: I know. That's pretty cool, huh?
Wyatt: I want to live in my preschool.
Me: Are you going to be a preschool teacher or is your wife?
Wyatt: You shut your mouth right now!

September

• ·         Wyatt took a header into our sump hole yesterday and chipped his tooth. He keeps messing with it and broke it further today. He says, "I'm like a doctor because I'm trying to pull my tooth out."
• ·         W: we're getting a drathaar when mom dies.

August

• ·         Me: do you know your shirt is on backwards? 

W: yes. That way even the kids behind me know I love the Broncos. Oh yeah.

• ·         Tonight we helped Ana with a homework assignment. She has to take a bag of stuff to school that represents different things about her and her family. For the question: something you dislike, she chose spiders. So she helped find spiders to put in a jar to take to school tomorrow, and then carried the jar around the rest of the night so she could watch them.
• ·         I made a homework suggestion to Ana tonight and she responded, "that's actually pretty good idea." what!?! That's NEVER happened to me before!

July

• ·         W: I spy, with my little eye... Something awkward.
• ·         W: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom. What are we having for dinner? Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom

Me: super glue.

• ·         W: dad, what's the F Word? 

Aj: I don't want to say the F Word. 
W: I do.

• ·         Five minutes before my alarm went off this morning, Wyatt banged on my door, burst into my room, ran over holding his critter cage, and shouted, "Me and grasshopper are awake!"
• ·         L: I'm so hungry I'm going to die. 

W: prove it! 
A few minutes later, W: do it already!

• ·         Me: are you eating your boogers since you didn't eat your dinner and now you're hungry?

W: yes! To earn a cookie!

• ·         W: when I've eaten enough to have a cookie, say, "beep beep!"
• ·         Wyatt: why do they call that a bus? 

Me: they don't. That's a boat.

June

• ·         Wyatt raced his first bmx race ever. He's in heaven! He took 2nd place. Not too shabby. Trying to prepare him to lose we asked, "what if you don't win?" to which he replied, "it's a shame!"

May

• ·         Wyatt: better run, Jessa - boo. 

Me: what are you gonna do? 
Jessa: get shoved! (as she shoves him on the ground and runs off) 

• ·         I was informed by one of my children they are unable to close their eyes during prayer because they need to blink....
• ·         Lagoon day! The best part was when Wyatt was running around screaming "thank you for taking me to fagoon!"
• ·         We went to the bee's game tonight and made the mistake of letting Wyatt have caffeine. He was bouncing over chairs and up and down the aisles, yelling, singing, and just being crazy. At one point he was chanting, "give up, Bees!" at the top of his lungs.
• ·         W: mom, three eggs. All of them are boys. 

Me: how do you know? 
W: because they're warm.

• ·         Wyatt: do you think I would say a swear word? 

Me: yes. 
W: like mansion?

April

• ·         Wyatt was trying to decide what to draw in church today. I told him to draw a rock and he said, "I can't draw things on beaches!" so he didn't do that. He ended up drawing a skeleton that he wanted to give to his dad.
• ·         J: I'm hungry. 

Me: why are you completely naked? 
J: oh. Cuz I forgot...

• ·         W: mom, do you know where my kidneys are? 

Me: yes, they're here on your back. 
W: no! My kid knees! That came with my roller skates! 
Me: oh! You mean knee pads? 
W: no.

• ·         Wyatt: dad is a poop emoji!
• ·         Me: let's go to that Mexican restaurant dad loves so much. 

L: the one with sushi?

• ·         Lincoln asked for a bite of Wyatt's burger and Wyatt said he could have a "chipmunk's nibble."

March

• ·         Best thing I've ever heard: I pooped my pants! I need Dada!
• ·         Wyatt was riding his bike on his ramp and wrecked pretty bad on his face and arm. He cried for about 20 seconds, then looked up at me and asked, "did I get air?"

February

• ·         Me: we get baptized so we can live in heaven when we die. 

W: I don't want to live in heaven. It's boring there.

• ·         Wyatt: you get what you get and you don't throw a bed out the window.

January

• ·         Random...while driving in the car. Wyatt: You can't train scorpions....
• ·         Jessa: What did the girl ghost say to the boy ghost?

Wyatt: What?
Jessa: You're boo-tiful!
Wyatt: No! You're handsome and cool and part of a team.

• ·         Lincoln prayed this morning that we would choose the right. Wyatt said, "I'm not going to choose the right."
• ·         I bought a box of donuts and told Wyatt he couldn't have one (at that moment).... So he sat on the box...
• ·         We left Wyatt in charge of the other kids tonight. He immediately got out a wooden spoon and spanked both his sisters....
• ·         Dad: who wants to help me clean the kitchen for mom?

Lincoln: I don't want to but I will.

Jessa : I don't want to but I will.

Ana: I don't want to but I will.

Wyatt: I want to but I won't.