Lincoln, age 4

I wasn't making fun of Ana. I was just showing you HOW TO make fun.

Lincoln, age 4

Do you like elf meat? (he meant elk, or at least we think he did!)

Ana, age 2

Ana came up to me laughing and said, "You're funny!" I said, "Why am I funny?" and she pointed at my belly, laughed, and said, "Sticking out!"

Lincoln, age 4

Me: We don't have any milk to go with our brownies.

Lincoln: We can use boob milk!

Ana, age 2

Me: What will baby say when he comes out?

Ana (age 2): "need you!"

Me: What will baby eat?"

Ana: [la]"sagna."

Lincoln, age 4

"If Satan said, 'kill your whole family,' I would say, 'What Satan?'"

Lincoln, age 4

Lincoln said, "One time someone did magic on your belly and now there's a baby inside it! Who was it? Santa?"