Year in Review 2016
Lincoln - 9, Ana – 7, Jessa - 5, Wyatt – 3
December
·
We just ran
into Santa at Costco and Wyatt had asked him for a real shotgun. Then we asked
him what kind of cookies he liked. Wyatt suggested chocolate chip with frosting
and Santa said that would be OK. Then Wyatt also told him we'd put a bendy
straw in his milk. When we said goodbye, Wyatt said, "goodbye Santa! I
love you!"
·
Wyatt to me:
you used to be a tiny baby. How did your legs get so big and fat?
(this was actually spoken with envy and
admiration)
·
Wyatt has a
present under the tree and it's killing him. He carries around wishing for
Christmas. The other day it got a rip in it and he told us. Aj said, "uh
oh. Let's go get it patched up." Wyatt replied, "NO! let's peek
first!"
·
The kids were
singing "somebody snitched on me" at the choir concert and Wyatt
turned to me and said, "you're getting nothing for Christmas because
you've been naughty!" I asked what I did and he said, "you spanked
me!"
·
Wyatt was
barking in his sleep this morning. He is so ridiculous, even when he's
unconscious!
·
Wyatt: are you
feeling sick mama?
Me: yeah, buddy, I am.
W: will you throw up so I can watch?
November
·
Wyatt says, “"when will I be old enough to get baptized? In 16 butt
years?"
·
I told Wyatt we
should cut his hair. He agreed and started without me. I need to be faster.
·
Wyatt: we
should get a monster truck with fire out the back to make it go faster.
·
Wyatt: what is
Santa bringing me for Christmas again?
Me: coal.
W: oh yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
·
Wyatt: I'm
waiting for humpty and dumpty to get full. Those are my hands.
Me: why?
W: because they're so fun!
October
·
Wyatt has
changed his named to "Wyatt Diet Dew." just so you know how to
address him.
·
Wyatt: I don't
want peanut butter.
Me: what?! Do you know that peanut butter is
full of protein? And protein makes your muscles strong!
Wyatt (taking and eating the sandwich) : like a
baby giant?
Me: exactly.
·
Wyatt: is it
Coldstone or Yellowstone?
Us: Coldstone
Wyatt: well, Katie always calls it Yellowstone.
Us: no. She's actually talking about
Yellowstone.
·
Wyatt saw one
of those blinky light on top of a power pole while driving and said,
"there's my star! I am going to name it Betsy! Blinky Betsy!
·
Wyatt got a big
cut in his foot and we asked him what he stepped on and he said, "maybe a
scorpion? Maybe an underground dog with sharp teeth?"
·
Wyatt, wanting
to know where we are, keeps asking, "what world are we in?"
And listening to White Fang, he keeps thinking Buck's
name is "Buttcrack."
·
I overheard
Wyatt and his friend talking....
Friend: Wyatt, don't kick the dog!
Wyatt: my mom makes the rules in our house. And
we kick our dogs.
*for the record I do make the rules. And the
rule is don't kick the dog. I did set him straight immediately.
·
Wyatt: It's
Valentine's Day because the leaves on that bush are red.
·
Wyatt says,
"can we change Betsy's name to bets dets?" then starts pumping his
fist in the air and chanting, "do it! Do it! Do it!"
·
Watching
football, the announcer says “17 yards.” Wyatt asks, "17 touchdowns or 17
footballs?"
·
We just watched
Batman vs. Superman and the only time Wyatt covered his eyes was when Lois and
Superman kissed! #allboy
September
·
Takeaways from the race today....
Ana: I hate running. I'd rather color.
·
Wyatt: I'm.... So..... Tired....
Me: do you want to walk for a minute?
W: no! I'm getting stronger!
·
Wyatt lost me
for a minute at the store today and said, "you don't want to lose your
mama!" I asked him why and he said, questioningly, "you might fall
off a cliff and die?"
·
I used kid
logic on my kid and it worked!
Kid: mom, why aren't you making lunch?
Me: my feet smell bad.
Kid: oh. OK.
August
·
Jessa: I'm
getting out of the bath now.
Ana: what!? No!!
Jessa: mom said to wash our hair and get out.
Ana: you don't HAVE to listen to her!
·
We were giving
the kids lessons on throwing tantrums today. Some of the main points to a
tantrum that we pointed out are:
1. Never explain what the tantrum is about. Just
begin screaming immediately.
2. Always make sure you're in a public place.
3. During a tantrum, allow all strength to leave
your limbs.
4. Only throw tantrums about things that don't
matter.
5. Make sure that if someone overlooks an
opportunity to throw a tantrum to point out their missed opportunity
immediately.
·
W: I jumped off
this wall and I didn't even die.
Me: I can see that. But it's still not a good
idea. You could break something.
W: like what? The ground or sumpin? I could
break a spider if I landed on it.
Me......
·
The kids like
to tease AJ and tell him he has a huge butt. They were teasing him and Wyatt
kicked it up a notch when he said, "daddy, you have a huge penis!" ha
ha ha.
·
Me: Wyatt, can
you count to ten?
W: 1,2,3,4, 5,6,7. I can count to 7.
Me: ok. Pick up 7 pinecones.
W: actually..... I can only count to 4.
July
·
I'm beginning
to wonder if Wyatt has a crazy reaction to red 40 so I've been trying to help
him avoid foods that have it. He was eating fruit loops today and I told him to
throw out all the red ones. He said, "because I don't want highway
40!"
·
I asked Wyatt
today during the sacrament if he knew what the bread was supposed to remind us
of. He had no clue so I gave him the hint that it was something of Jesus's. He
guessed, "his dog?"
After explaining that it was Jesus’ body, I
asked if he knew what the water might remind us of, and said, "ice
cream?"
·
Me: if you
could do anything for family fun day, what would it be?
Ana: I'd go to the pool, then the movies, then
the pond, then a fire.
Wyatt: I'd play video games, then go to St.
Martin's, then go to Bear World to shoot an elk, then go to the forest to shoot
a deer, then go to the refinery.
·
Me to AJ: Ask
Google. Google will know.
Wyatt: how old is goovle? (not a typo)
·
Wyatt was
eating dinner like a dog and saying he was a dog. Lincoln was licking his plate
clean and pouring his food on his lap. I said, "Lincoln is taking a dinner
shower. What does that make him?" and Wyatt said, "a human! "
·
Wyatt wants to
play "hands in the pants." (Ants in the Pants)
·
Wyatt said in
his sleep this morning: don't push Jessa off a cliff! Push Lincoln off a cliff!
He's a bad brother!
·
Me: Ana, do you
want to go on a hike?
Ana: meh. I'd rather have a back rub.
June
·
This is what I
love about 3 year olds. I said, "I need to dust these pictures." and
Wyatt said, "can I do it?"
·
Wyatt says,
"back and thorth. Back and thorth. Back and thorth."
·
< Lincoln
hands Ana a granola bar>
A: gross! What is this white stuff all over it?!?
L: white chocolate.
A: NO! There's no such thing as white chocolate!
·
Me: you know
what I love about you?
W: what?
Me: everything.
W: you know what I love about you?
Me: what?
W: nothing.
May
·
Overheard....
Aj's in the bathroom. Wyatt walks in and says, "I love your big, fat
butt."
·
W: let's sing
the alphabet.
Me: ok. What's first?
W: B?
ME: no, a.
W: dang it!
· L: Ana do you
believe in fairies?
A: yes.
L: do you believe in ghosts?
A: no.
L: if you believe in fairies, you have to
believe in ghosts.
A: no.
L: look, here's a picture of a ghost.
A: no.
L: Winston Churchill saw a ghost.
A: no.
He continues to read to her out of some ghost fact
book. She continues to say simply "no." after each story. It's
cracking me up how she won't give him anything.
·
Wyatt saw a
cool jeep and said, "I'd like to ride in that jeep car. Let's steal
it!"
·
W: mom, what is
that?
Me: a moth.
W: does it bring us honey and jam?
Me: no.
W: dang it!
·
Payton's song
(Payton is Ana’s doll. She wrote this
song)
"someone once told me the world was made of
Dinosaurs so I took a bite out of blue. I spat it at a dinosaur. I spat it at a
blue hippo. 10,000 years later I met dinosaur Darth Vader. He chucked his
dinosaur life saver at me. It missed me by a dinosaur. It hit Mr. Dinosaur
saying Dinosaurs are awesome. Green is awesome. "
·
Listening to the radio. The song was that "only
know you love her when you let her go" one. Wyatt says, "is Elsa in
this song?"
·
Next song was the "seven years old song"
and Jessa asks, "what is this song?" and Wyatt says, "I think
it's called 'I'll be back in a flash'."
·
Wyatt to AJ:
you don't have boobs. I like laying on boobs.
·
W: (singing) LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA. Do you know where I learned 'LA LA LA lala?'
Me: where?
W: from Santa.
·
Wyatt fell
asleep at 5 in the afternoon and slept and slept and slept. Then around 11:30
at night, Lincoln woke up with a night terror which woke Wyatt up. I told him
to go back to sleep and he said, "all I can do is wake up!"
·
Wyatt and I are
shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow and I put him on one side and me on the other
and he says to me, "you're on the loser side. I'm on the winner
side."
·
We got the kids
souvenirs and Wyatt said, "thank you for the pioneer!"
April
·
Me: you need to
close your eyes during prayer.
W: my dolphin is telling me to wake up!
·
Me: Ana! You
drew in my car again!
Ana: of course, I did. I was mad.
·
W: I could
whack people and make them cry.
Me: what? Would that be a good thing to do?
W: yeah. And I could choke their blood out and make
them die.
Me: I don't think that's a good idea. Would that
make you happy?
W: yeah. It would.
·
On our run this
morning we saw some teenagers walking along. Wyatt asked, "who's
that?" I said I didn't know and he said, "they have names." I
agreed and he asked me what their names were and I told him I didn't know. He
said, "maybe Dad."
Yeah. Maybe that kid's name is dad....
·
The song from
the Peanuts Movie came on the radio and I said, "what movie is this
from?" and Wyatt said, "I made it up."
·
W: mommy, I'm
really stinking hungry. My heart says I need cereal.
March
·
Wyatt jumps on
my back and starts singing, "sitting in a tree! K i s L m n u v. Then
comes a baby playing basketball."
·
Wyatt climbed
in my bed this morning, draped his arm over my neck, and said, "I love you
mom."
·
Written on egg
in the fridge: "for awesomeness Crack on shirt". How gullible do I
look to you?
·
Wyatt: you're
ugly.
Me: what makes me ugly?
W: a sea monster.
·
Wyatt: what do
you call me? Oh! I know! "Cupcake."
PS... I have never called that boy
"Cupcake". I call him monster most often.
·
Someone in
church today mentioned Enos and Wyatt said to me, "did he mean
penis?"
Seriously, mothers of little boys - DO NOT teach
them the correct names for their body parts! Biggest mistake of my life! I've
never had this issue with any of my other kids. He's obsessed.
·
Wyatt rode his
bike an entire 5-mile run (at age barely 3).
Jessa: I'm too tired!
Me: I'm tired too. You're supposed to be tired.
That's how you get stronger.
Wyatt: yeah! I'm tired too! Because I'm
stronger!
·
Lincoln,
pointing to my dyed hair: is this your real hair color?
Me: no. My real color is up here at the top.
L: this light brown and gray stuff?
Me: yep... That's it...
·
We were in the
shower and I asked Wyatt of he wanted me to shave the back of his head with a
razor and he said, "shave my butt!"
·
I was DONE with
kids and mentioned, "if anyone crosses me, I'm likely to backhand
them."
Wyatt quickly volunteered, "I'll cross
you!" and walked across in front of me with a huge, dimpled smile.
·
Wyatt tells me
to jump over all the cracks while we run, lest I break my back and die.
February
o
We went out to
visit the baby goats today and Wyatt asked, "when do we get to be
goats?"
o
30 things was
just too much for Jessa to pick up, so I had her do 20 and 10. That was no
problem.
o
Wyatt: I'm
going to get married.... All by myself.
o
Words you never want to hear: I found a number two
in the grass and I picked it up!
o (luckily it was literally a number 2)
o
L: if a monkey
came up to you and said, "I will give you anything you want!" what
would you say?
Aj: cool.
Me: a talking monkey!
L: no! What would you want?!?
o
Wyatt: when I
was a baby I slept in a crib.
Me: yeah. You were my last baby to sleep in the
crib.
W: yeah. Now I'm all grown up.
Me: don't grow up too fast!
W: I can't even touch your shoulder.
Me: true. What do you want to be when you grow up?
W: I want to be awesome! And be in my underwear!
o
Aj: Wyatt, what
happened to your forehead?
W: you elbowed me in the face, remember?
o
W: what if I
fall of a cliff?
Me: you'd probably die.
W: I would land.
Me: for sure!
o
Wyatt sniffs me
and says, "You smell like a cucumber, mom." I said, "What does a
cucumber smell like?" He says, "mm. Cheesy."
o
"To mom, I
hate survival week. Next time put us in time out. From Ana." ha ha haha ha
o
Me: when I was
a kid we called it "Indian style."
L: why don't you call it that anymore?
Me: it's politically correct.
L: what's 3 divided by 12?
Me: it's 12 divided by 3.
L: who's politically correct now?
January
·
Me: You need to
go potty.
W: No, I just want to wiggle.
Me: No. Your body is telling you to go potty.
W: No. My penis can't talk.
·
Aj: he's super
anti-mormon.
L: what's an anti-mormon?
Me: someone who doesn't like mormons.
W: I hate mormons.
·
W: he said
Peyton Manning!
Me: yeah he did!
W: he's not in jail!
·
Aj: Wyatt, do
you want some deodorant?
W: you mean Yoda?
·
Wyatt: I'm
going to be dark Vader for Halloween.
Jessa: I'm going to be dark Vader for Halloween
too!
W: no. You're going to be princess Leia.
J: you be princess Leia. I'm going to be dark
Vader!
·
Me: I'm going
to make liver and onions for dinner. Then you'll love everything else I ever
make.
L: what kind of liver? Human?
Me: yeah. Yours!
L: at least I won't be around to eat it.....
·
I'm eating a
celery stick and Wyatt says, "if you eat a celery stick, you get sick and
die." I said, "no. You don't." he replied, "once Jesus ate
a celery stick and he died."
·
I just read
"the 5 love languages of children" and I was discussing it with my
kids. Lincoln and Ana both said what they thought their languages are (which
just happened to be exactly what aj and I had thought) and Wyatt said, "my
love language is dope zebra.
·
Star Wars 4, Wyatt
says, "it's Darth Vader! I want to hug him!"
·
We just
finished Star Wars 3 and Wyatt says, "I want to be Darth Vader for
Halloween so I can DESTROY EVERYTHING!!"
