Year in Review 2016

Year in Review 2016

Lincoln - 9, Ana – 7, Jessa - 5, Wyatt – 3

December

·         We just ran into Santa at Costco and Wyatt had asked him for a real shotgun. Then we asked him what kind of cookies he liked. Wyatt suggested chocolate chip with frosting and Santa said that would be OK. Then Wyatt also told him we'd put a bendy straw in his milk. When we said goodbye, Wyatt said, "goodbye Santa! I love you!"

·         Wyatt to me: you used to be a tiny baby. How did your legs get so big and fat? 
(this was actually spoken with envy and admiration)

·         Wyatt has a present under the tree and it's killing him. He carries around wishing for Christmas. The other day it got a rip in it and he told us. Aj said, "uh oh. Let's go get it patched up." Wyatt replied, "NO! let's peek first!"

·         The kids were singing "somebody snitched on me" at the choir concert and Wyatt turned to me and said, "you're getting nothing for Christmas because you've been naughty!" I asked what I did and he said, "you spanked me!"

·         Wyatt was barking in his sleep this morning. He is so ridiculous, even when he's unconscious!

·         Wyatt: are you feeling sick mama? 
Me: yeah, buddy, I am. 
W: will you throw up so I can watch?

November

·         Wyatt says, “"when will I be old enough to get baptized? In 16 butt years?"

·         I told Wyatt we should cut his hair. He agreed and started without me. I need to be faster.

·         Wyatt: we should get a monster truck with fire out the back to make it go faster.

·         Wyatt: what is Santa bringing me for Christmas again? 
Me: coal. 
W: oh yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

·         Wyatt: I'm waiting for humpty and dumpty to get full. Those are my hands. 
Me: why? 
W: because they're so fun!

October

·         Wyatt has changed his named to "Wyatt Diet Dew." just so you know how to address him.

·         Wyatt: I don't want peanut butter. 
Me: what?! Do you know that peanut butter is full of protein? And protein makes your muscles strong! 
Wyatt (taking and eating the sandwich) : like a baby giant? 
Me: exactly.

·         Wyatt: is it Coldstone or Yellowstone? 
Us: Coldstone 
Wyatt: well, Katie always calls it Yellowstone. 
Us: no. She's actually talking about Yellowstone.

·         Wyatt saw one of those blinky light on top of a power pole while driving and said, "there's my star! I am going to name it Betsy! Blinky Betsy!

·         Wyatt got a big cut in his foot and we asked him what he stepped on and he said, "maybe a scorpion? Maybe an underground dog with sharp teeth?"

·         Wyatt, wanting to know where we are, keeps asking, "what world are we in?"
 And listening to White Fang, he keeps thinking Buck's name is "Buttcrack."

·         I overheard Wyatt and his friend talking.... 
Friend: Wyatt, don't kick the dog! 
Wyatt: my mom makes the rules in our house. And we kick our dogs. 
*for the record I do make the rules. And the rule is don't kick the dog. I did set him straight immediately.

·         Wyatt: It's Valentine's Day because the leaves on that bush are red.

·         Wyatt says, "can we change Betsy's name to bets dets?" then starts pumping his fist in the air and chanting, "do it! Do it! Do it!"

·         Watching football, the announcer says “17 yards.” Wyatt asks, "17 touchdowns or 17 footballs?"

·         We just watched Batman vs. Superman and the only time Wyatt covered his eyes was when Lois and Superman kissed! #allboy

September

·         Takeaways from the race today....
Ana: I hate running. I'd rather color.

·         Wyatt: I'm.... So..... Tired.... 
Me: do you want to walk for a minute? 
W: no! I'm getting stronger!

·         Wyatt lost me for a minute at the store today and said, "you don't want to lose your mama!" I asked him why and he said, questioningly, "you might fall off a cliff and die?"

·         I used kid logic on my kid and it worked! 
Kid: mom, why aren't you making lunch? 
Me: my feet smell bad. 
Kid: oh. OK.

August

·         Jessa: I'm getting out of the bath now. 
Ana: what!? No!! 
Jessa: mom said to wash our hair and get out. 
Ana: you don't HAVE to listen to her!

·         We were giving the kids lessons on throwing tantrums today. Some of the main points to a tantrum that we pointed out are:
1. Never explain what the tantrum is about. Just begin screaming immediately. 
2. Always make sure you're in a public place. 
3. During a tantrum, allow all strength to leave your limbs. 
4. Only throw tantrums about things that don't matter. 
5. Make sure that if someone overlooks an opportunity to throw a tantrum to point out their missed opportunity immediately.

·         W: I jumped off this wall and I didn't even die. 
Me: I can see that. But it's still not a good idea. You could break something. 
W: like what? The ground or sumpin? I could break a spider if I landed on it. 
Me......

·         The kids like to tease AJ and tell him he has a huge butt. They were teasing him and Wyatt kicked it up a notch when he said, "daddy, you have a huge penis!" ha ha ha.

·         Me: Wyatt, can you count to ten? 
W: 1,2,3,4, 5,6,7. I can count to 7.
Me: ok. Pick up 7 pinecones.
W: actually..... I can only count to 4.

July

·         I'm beginning to wonder if Wyatt has a crazy reaction to red 40 so I've been trying to help him avoid foods that have it. He was eating fruit loops today and I told him to throw out all the red ones. He said, "because I don't want highway 40!"

·         I asked Wyatt today during the sacrament if he knew what the bread was supposed to remind us of. He had no clue so I gave him the hint that it was something of Jesus's. He guessed, "his dog?" 
After explaining that it was Jesus’ body, I asked if he knew what the water might remind us of, and said, "ice cream?"

·         Me: if you could do anything for family fun day, what would it be? 
Ana: I'd go to the pool, then the movies, then the pond, then a fire. 
Wyatt: I'd play video games, then go to St. Martin's, then go to Bear World to shoot an elk, then go to the forest to shoot a deer, then go to the refinery.

·         Me to AJ: Ask Google. Google will know. 
Wyatt: how old is goovle? (not a typo)

·         Wyatt was eating dinner like a dog and saying he was a dog. Lincoln was licking his plate clean and pouring his food on his lap. I said, "Lincoln is taking a dinner shower. What does that make him?" and Wyatt said, "a human! "

·         Wyatt wants to play "hands in the pants." (Ants in the Pants)

·         Wyatt said in his sleep this morning: don't push Jessa off a cliff! Push Lincoln off a cliff! He's a bad brother!

·         Me: Ana, do you want to go on a hike? 
Ana: meh. I'd rather have a back rub.

June

·         This is what I love about 3 year olds. I said, "I need to dust these pictures." and Wyatt said, "can I do it?"

·         Wyatt says, "back and thorth. Back and thorth. Back and thorth."

·         < Lincoln hands Ana a granola bar>
A: gross! What is this white stuff all over it?!? 
L: white chocolate. 
A: NO! There's no such thing as white chocolate!

·         Me: you know what I love about you? 
W: what? 
Me: everything. 
W: you know what I love about you? 
Me: what? 
W: nothing.

May

·         Overheard.... Aj's in the bathroom. Wyatt walks in and says, "I love your big, fat butt."

·         W: let's sing the alphabet. 

Me: ok. What's first? 

W: B? 

ME: no, a. 

W: dang it!

·       L: Ana do you believe in fairies? 

A: yes. 

L: do you believe in ghosts? 

A: no. 

L: if you believe in fairies, you have to believe in ghosts. 

A: no. 

L: look, here's a picture of a ghost. 

A: no. 

L: Winston Churchill saw a ghost.       

A: no.

He continues to read to her out of some ghost fact book. She continues to say simply "no." after each story. It's cracking me up how she won't give him anything.

·         Wyatt saw a cool jeep and said, "I'd like to ride in that jeep car. Let's steal it!"

·         W: mom, what is that? 
Me: a moth. 
W: does it bring us honey and jam? 
Me: no. 
W: dang it!

·         Payton's song (Payton is Ana’s doll.  She wrote this song)
"someone once told me the world was made of Dinosaurs so I took a bite out of blue. I spat it at a dinosaur. I spat it at a blue hippo. 10,000 years later I met dinosaur Darth Vader. He chucked his dinosaur life saver at me. It missed me by a dinosaur. It hit Mr. Dinosaur saying Dinosaurs are awesome. Green is awesome. "

·         Listening to the radio. The song was that "only know you love her when you let her go" one. Wyatt says, "is Elsa in this song?"

·         Next song was the "seven years old song" and Jessa asks, "what is this song?" and Wyatt says, "I think it's called 'I'll be back in a flash'."

·         Wyatt to AJ: you don't have boobs. I like laying on boobs.

·         W: (singing) LA LA LA LA LA LA LA. Do you know where I learned 'LA LA LA lala?' 
Me: where? 
W: from Santa.

·         Wyatt fell asleep at 5 in the afternoon and slept and slept and slept. Then around 11:30 at night, Lincoln woke up with a night terror which woke Wyatt up. I told him to go back to sleep and he said, "all I can do is wake up!" 

·         Wyatt and I are shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow and I put him on one side and me on the other and he says to me, "you're on the loser side. I'm on the winner side."

·         We got the kids souvenirs and Wyatt said, "thank you for the pioneer!"

April

·         Me: you need to close your eyes during prayer. 
W: my dolphin is telling me to wake up!

·         Me: Ana! You drew in my car again! 
Ana: of course, I did. I was mad.

·         W: I could whack people and make them cry. 
Me: what? Would that be a good thing to do? 
W: yeah. And I could choke their blood out and make them die.
Me: I don't think that's a good idea. Would that make you happy? 
W: yeah. It would.

·         On our run this morning we saw some teenagers walking along. Wyatt asked, "who's that?" I said I didn't know and he said, "they have names." I agreed and he asked me what their names were and I told him I didn't know. He said, "maybe Dad." 
Yeah. Maybe that kid's name is dad....

·         The song from the Peanuts Movie came on the radio and I said, "what movie is this from?" and Wyatt said, "I made it up."

·         W: mommy, I'm really stinking hungry. My heart says I need cereal.

March

·         Wyatt jumps on my back and starts singing, "sitting in a tree! K i s L m n u v. Then comes a baby playing basketball."

·         Wyatt climbed in my bed this morning, draped his arm over my neck, and said, "I love you mom."

·         Written on egg in the fridge: "for awesomeness Crack on shirt". How gullible do I look to you?

·         Wyatt: you're ugly. 
Me: what makes me ugly? 
W: a sea monster.

·         Wyatt: what do you call me? Oh! I know! "Cupcake."
PS... I have never called that boy "Cupcake". I call him monster most often.

·         Someone in church today mentioned Enos and Wyatt said to me, "did he mean penis?" 
Seriously, mothers of little boys - DO NOT teach them the correct names for their body parts! Biggest mistake of my life! I've never had this issue with any of my other kids. He's obsessed.

·         Wyatt rode his bike an entire 5-mile run (at age barely 3). 
Jessa: I'm too tired! 
Me: I'm tired too. You're supposed to be tired. That's how you get stronger. 
Wyatt: yeah! I'm tired too! Because I'm stronger!

·         Lincoln, pointing to my dyed hair: is this your real hair color? 
Me: no. My real color is up here at the top. 
L: this light brown and gray stuff?
Me: yep... That's it...

·         We were in the shower and I asked Wyatt of he wanted me to shave the back of his head with a razor and he said, "shave my butt!"

·         I was DONE with kids and mentioned, "if anyone crosses me, I'm likely to backhand them." 
Wyatt quickly volunteered, "I'll cross you!" and walked across in front of me with a huge, dimpled smile.

·         Wyatt tells me to jump over all the cracks while we run, lest I break my back and die.

February

o   We went out to visit the baby goats today and Wyatt asked, "when do we get to be goats?"

o   30 things was just too much for Jessa to pick up, so I had her do 20 and 10. That was no problem.

o   Wyatt: I'm going to get married.... All by myself.

o   Words you never want to hear: I found a number two in the grass and I picked it up!

o   (luckily it was literally a number 2)

o   L: if a monkey came up to you and said, "I will give you anything you want!" what would you say? 
Aj: cool. 
Me: a talking monkey! 
L: no! What would you want?!?

o   Wyatt: when I was a baby I slept in a crib. 
Me: yeah. You were my last baby to sleep in the crib. 
W: yeah. Now I'm all grown up. 
Me: don't grow up too fast! 
W: I can't even touch your shoulder. 
Me: true. What do you want to be when you grow up? 
W: I want to be awesome! And be in my underwear!

o   Aj: Wyatt, what happened to your forehead? 
W: you elbowed me in the face, remember? 

o   W: what if I fall of a cliff? 
Me: you'd probably die. 
W: I would land. 
Me: for sure!

o   Wyatt sniffs me and says, "You smell like a cucumber, mom." I said, "What does a cucumber smell like?" He says, "mm. Cheesy."

o   "To mom, I hate survival week. Next time put us in time out. From Ana." ha ha haha ha

o   Me: when I was a kid we called it "Indian style."
L: why don't you call it that anymore? 
Me: it's politically correct. 
L: what's 3 divided by 12?
Me: it's 12 divided by 3.
L: who's politically correct now?

January

·         Me: You need to go potty. 
W: No, I just want to wiggle. 
Me: No. Your body is telling you to go potty. 
W: No. My penis can't talk.

·         Aj: he's super anti-mormon. 
L: what's an anti-mormon?
Me: someone who doesn't like mormons. 
W: I hate mormons.

·         W: he said Peyton Manning! 
Me: yeah he did! 
W: he's not in jail!

·         Aj: Wyatt, do you want some deodorant? 
W: you mean Yoda?

·         Wyatt: I'm going to be dark Vader for Halloween. 
Jessa: I'm going to be dark Vader for Halloween too! 
W: no. You're going to be princess Leia. 
J: you be princess Leia. I'm going to be dark Vader!

·         Me: I'm going to make liver and onions for dinner. Then you'll love everything else I ever make. 
L: what kind of liver? Human? 
Me: yeah. Yours! 
L: at least I won't be around to eat it.....

·         I'm eating a celery stick and Wyatt says, "if you eat a celery stick, you get sick and die." I said, "no. You don't." he replied, "once Jesus ate a celery stick and he died."

·         I just read "the 5 love languages of children" and I was discussing it with my kids. Lincoln and Ana both said what they thought their languages are (which just happened to be exactly what aj and I had thought) and Wyatt said, "my love language is dope zebra.

·         Star Wars 4, Wyatt says, "it's Darth Vader! I want to hug him!"

·         We just finished Star Wars 3 and Wyatt says, "I want to be Darth Vader for Halloween so I can DESTROY EVERYTHING!!"

Year in Review -2015 (it's backwards...)

Year In Review 2015

Lincoln – 8, Ana 6, Jessa 3, Wyatt 2

December

·         I peeled a booger off Wyatt and said, "Ew!" and he replied, "yum!"

·         Went to the Utah game today. We stuck down to the 6th row, sat down, and Wyatt shouted, "go BYU!!" oh, the swiveling heads!

·         W: I need more hot cocoa. 
Me: no. You need to eat more chili. 
W: your leg said I can have more cocoa. 
Me: no it didn't. 
W: yes. Your leg can talk.

·         Jessa got an award for doing her Preschool games. She was so proud of it she GLUED it to the wall....

·         Wyatt wanted the soap in the shower so he said, "hand me the washing machine. "

·         Wyatt says we're going to the "vegetable" of trees! Ha ha (we went to the Festival of Trees)

·         W: mom, I want to tell you a joke. 
Me: OK. 
W: one time I pooped in my pants.

·         His other joke is " knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow who? Moo...." all in one sentence like that.

November

·         Aj: Wyatt, will you pray? 
W: I said it last year!

·         Me: should we go get a pizza?
W: Oh yeah! Oreo pizza! It's my birthday! (NOT his birthday)

·         Wyatt offered me a ride home from church on the back of his bike today. 

·         - I would do a racecar one. 
Me- oh yeah? 
W- yeah. I would get in a car and fight Santa. 
Me- Santa?! Why?? 
W- Because I don't like him. I would get clippers and cut his head off.

·         Middle Of my workout, Wyatt says, "you're soggy!"

October

·         Aj says to me in his loving, romantic voice: Your dimples are so cute! 
Me: I don't have dimples. 
Aj: Oh. Your wrinkles are so cute. 

·         J: what's a ghost's favorite dessert? 
A: I don't know. 
J: blueberry pie! 
A: what??
J: you know. Because ghosts say boo! 
A: ohhhhh. You mean BOOberry pie. 
J: yeah.

·          I asked Wyatt what he wants to be for Halloween and he said, "black."

·         Wyatt's tantrum today? He's mad because I won't let him do a back flip off the toilet....

·         I was singing Wyatt that "love me like you do" song and he sang back, "no I don't!"

·         We were listening to Katy Perry Roar and Wyatt thought she said "floating like a butthead" instead of butterfly. Ha ha ha

·         Lincoln just asked me if I'd assign him a "fun" chore today..... *blank stare*

September

·         Wyatt's prayer tonight: please bless we can go to Walmart..... 
Important things...

·         Wyatt got mad because the cheese stick I gave him doesn't match his shirt.

·         Just walked outside to find Wyatt drawing on my car.... With a rock.

·         Watching the Broncos game, Wyatt says, "I don't like John Elway! I like Dinosaurs!"

·         Miriam : what do you think lives in that hole? 
Me: it's something beautiful. 
Mason: a slug!

·         Me: everybody say something that rhymes with sneeze! 
Mason: socks!!

·         Ana hops up on dad’s lap and says, "we are on our phones together!"

August

·         It's no problem that babies don't come with instructions.... As soon as they learn to write, they'll make you a book. 1. No whining. 2. Be nice. 3. Don't yell. 
Lincoln gave me this book, then proceeded to tell me of all the times I broke the rules today. Now that I have the book, I'm bound to be better!

·         Child: can I have screen time? 
Me: no. You haven't done your chores yet.
C: yes I did. Can I? 
Me: no you didn't. And no you may not. 
C: Why?? 
Me:...... 
C: if you don't answer me, I'm Just going to go play.

·         Wyatt: I want to get candy at Joseph Smithes (sic). What kind of candy is this and where do I get it?  (I discovered he meant Smith’s Marketplace)

·         Watching the tour of Utah, Wyatt asked where they're going.... 
Me: to park city. 
W: I'm going to park city on my bike. 
Me: are you going to be a bike racer? 
W: yeah. In my clothes. 
#nakedbiking

·         Eating dinner tonight, Wyatt starts singing, "I am awesome! I am cool! I am part of a team!" 
I started to sing with him and he said, "don't say that. You are bad."

July

·         Today the kids were cleaning their bedrooms and Wyatt came out completely naked with marker all over him. On one butt cheek was written "big," and on the other was "juicy."

·         Wyatt pooped in the toilet while I was running this morning and came out of the bathroom naked. I jumped off the Treadmill and said, "we need to wipe you before you come out!" he sat down on the carpet and said, "I did wipe. See? There's no poop on the carpet." Ugh

·         Wyatt was holding a chicken and said, "this is like a citipati!" (look it up 😉)

·         Lincoln was learning how to play Sims today and was asking how to get his guy a girlfriend. Wyatt suggested pushing her in the pool and punching her in the deep water.

·         Jessa fell down while hiking and scraped her finger. She was sitting there crying and Ana came all the way back and sat down next to her to comfort her and talk with her. When she saw Jessa's cut finger, she took one of her own bandaids off her knee to wrap on Jessa's finger. 

·         W: What is that momma?
Me:it's a hummingbird. 
W: it's a bear? 
Me: no. A hummingbird. 
W: it's kind of a bear.

June

·         Wyatt told me he is a great hiker so I asked, "what should you do if you started to fall down the mountain?" he said, "I should cry!"

·         Wyatt really loves eating vegetables. And by vegetables he means lunchables.

·         Wyatt : I can kill a bear with a stick! 
*two minutes later * I can kill a stick with a bear!

·         Me: where would you guys be without me? 
Wyatt: in the office!

·         Almost everything I make for Wyatt, he says, "this is gross!" or, "I hate this!" but he often says to me, "I should taste poop." WHAT?!

·         Wyatt: this is like peppermint. 
Me: no it's not. 
W: it's like granola. 
Me: no it's not. It's soy sauce. 
This kid just loves to talk to hear his own voice so he makes up ridiculous stuff.

·         I gave Wyatt a Nielsen's frozen custard and he said, "this is exactly granola."
Um. No. It's ice cream.

·         The girls were playing halo and Jessa's guy was standing in a river and she said, "I'm taking a bath!"

·         Me: I really don't like fighting with you guys. 
Wyatt: I'll fight you with a sword.

·         We were driving in the car and Jessa was trying to do something and got mad at me because I was "driving too much."

May

·         Wyatt was saying his prayers when he noticed his diffuser changing colors, and he said, "bless blue. Bless green. Bless red...”

·         Wyatt saw a huge puddle today, took his shoe off, scooped up water into it, and took a drink. Almost. I stopped him just in time!

·         At Costco Wyatt saw a girl carrying around a Sophia the First dress. He stuck out his lip the rest of the trip saying, "I want a Sophia dress!" several times.

·         Lincoln's homework: list the Six colors in the rainbow. 
Me: or 7....
L: there's no violet. 
Me: they took violet away? 
L: there never was violet.

Just like Pluto was never a planet and brontosaurus was never a dinosaur.....

·         Wyatt brings me a yogurt and I told him we've already eaten dinner and won't be eating that now. He responds, "on Tuesday?" yeah, Wyatt. On Tuesday.

·         L: mom do you know about *some pokemon*? 
Me : no. 
L: Yes you do! . You know that one? 
Me: no. 
L: yes! . Do you know that pokemon? 
Me: yes. 
L: no you don't. *walks away in disgust 

April

·          I asked Wyatt if he wanted to kiss a baby chicken and he said, "no! It's spicy!

·         W: it's like a coffee drink. 
Me: what is? 
W: coffee.

·         Me: you can wear that (girl swimsuit) to the pool but you can't swim. 
W: I have swimming lessons. 
Me: no you don't. 
W: I'm in kindergarten. 
Me: no you're not.

·         This morning Wyatt brings me a little yellow plastic hair tie and says, "It's my special." and hugs it. Weird.

·         Wyatt: I wanna go Costco mama. 
Me: Why do you want to go to Costco? 
W: I wanna buy a toy. Elsa one.

March

·         We were talking to Lincoln about March Madness and discussing how it went from 64 teams to 32, then to 16 and asked him if he knew what the 16 teams were called and he said, "sexual sixteen?"

February

·         "Call Me Maybe" was on the radio and Jessa said "she's wants them to call her Maybe? That's not a name!"

·         Me: Wyatt, that's a bad idea. 
Wyatt: yeah! Funny!

January

·         Wyatt licked me goodnight instead of kissing me. Because he was a dog. He is seriously the funnest kid.